Some of the most common questions I was asked as a newlywed were, "Does it feel any different to be married?" "Have you got used to calling him 'husband' yet?" and, of course, "So are you taking his last name?" When I answered in the negative (for all three questions, actually), the latter query was followed up with further questions. I decided at the ripe old age of 15, almost 10 years before I met the man who would become my husband, that I would not change my name for marriage.
As I grew older, learning more about gender politics and the inequalities that women still face in society cemented that teenage decision to keep my name.
To put it bluntly -- as I sometimes do when people really grill me about my decision -- it's not 1950 and I'm not cattle that needs to be branded with my owner's name.
If you are debating whether to change your surname for marriage, don't listen to the people who question your decision -- don't even listen to this article -- but take time to ponder for yourself your thoughts on name and identity, and what's important to you.
I always planned to change my name whenever I married – I wanted to have the same last name as my children, be a unified couple, and follow tradition. From what you wrote in, it seems as though you want to change your name – you just don’t want to do the work!
If you have decided to go forward with changing your name, take the stress out of the legal process by reminding yourself of the fun that comes along.
I hope you are able to decide for yourself based on your values and with input from your new spouse. Some artists and labels prefer certain tracks to be purchased as part of an entire release. In my own experience, Doug, the owner of Westway, was very helpful, and the reply was quick.
The expectation that women should change their last name for marriage, swapping their own identity for their husband's, is -- inarguably -- sexist. I do think it's unequal that children automatically take their father's name, but other approaches are not yet as widely accepted as women keeping their surnames -- though I think this is will change with time.
Whether or not I have the same last name as my child won't stop me loving them or feeling attached to them. However, that's the name I had for the first 29 years of my life before my wedding, and that's who I see myself as.
A few decades ago it was common to assume any married woman you met was a housewife; that's not a good reason for women to stay out of the workplace. I love my husband dearly, and hope we are together until we die in each other's arms at the exact same moment at age 100, but it would be naive not to realize that something like a third of western marriages end in divorce.
If you, however, are not as fond of your name or do not see it as part of your identity -- perhaps because it's from a parent you don't have a good relationship with, the name is something you got teased for, or you just feel it's not particularly you -- then I think marriage is a great opportunity to take a new name. If you, too, do think "it's just nice", ask yourself what you find nice about it before committing to a decision. Letting coworkers and friends know you’ve changed your last name should be a happy moment, allowing you a brief chance to share a detail or two about your wedding day.
It is not owned by me nor do I have copyright, but what makes a good shot even more popular than letting everyone see it ?!
And I say "inarguably" because no one could claim there is an expectation of the same name-change in men.
Also, with this logic, would I no longer feel like I'm part of my parents' family if I take a different surname from theirs? But I believe this should be the case for men as well, and that neither gender should feel obligated to switch names.
I don’t want to spend a lot of time and stress going through the legal process of taking on my spouse’s name.
I recommend you have a frank discussion with your spouse about this choice, and think about how you identify yourself in regards to your last name.
Most of the work comes after you’ve filed the appropriate paperwork, and start the process of updating your accounts and records. It’s a fun way to get used to referring to yourself as the new Mrs., and it will help others adjust to your name as well.


Are there no boys in your family to carry on the name?" And then, in a conspiratorial whisper, "Do you not like your husband's last name?
Several times I've introduced myself to someone on email and received a message back signed off with "P.S.
In these days of blended families, the idea that everyone in a family would have the same last name is a touch old-fashioned. Reflective Groom' on meeting me for the first time -- just as people familiar with me greet him as.
But the things that make weddings nice are that they bring together family and friends, celebrate your love, and are an excuse for an awesome party. And if it is so nice to have the same last name as your spouse, perhaps it shouldn't only be women stepping up to make the change. Marie Drouillard nods and shares the solemn sentiment with her fellow mariners but her emotions quickly change once her feet hit the docks and she is filled with joy.It is a sunnyA April morning, and a new day in a new world was ahead of Marie.
She left behind her mother Marie Jeanne, and father Jacques, and the rest of her famille in Ville Marie, Saintonge. As she set her feet on the rickety docks of settlement named Three Rivers, she took the capine from her head and shakes off the last mist of salt water in her hair and thus begins a romantic adventure that she played out in her mind since her youth.Marie takes a look at theA small settlement and all the activity going on around her. It would be a kindness if you would allow me to take you to Father.MARIEVery well Monsieur, I just don't want to put you to any trouble.
I am sure you must have other obligations.PIERREIf you are a friend of Fathers then I am obligated to see you safely to his presence. Now then you would not like the good people of Three Rivers to look down on me as if I were one of the savages walking with empty arms while you tote a heavy load. My mother's name was Marie Madeleine.A MARIENow I know you are making jest of our conversation.A PIERREHonest!
I want to get away from these arrangements.PIERREWhy is that?MARIEWhen I marry, I want to marry for love and to whom I choose. As she stops walking she looks over and sees a man where before she seen only a trusted soldier.
That is if you don't object?A MARIEI would like that Pierre.PIERREWell then we are here at the Chapel. He is an old man and sometimes takes a while for him to answer.A A MARIEThat is not neccesary Pierre.
The strikingly beautiful Marie had captured his heart and there is no escaping the feelings he hasA for the demoiselle heA just met.
It is the first time he has seen her in years.LALEMANTWell look who is all grown up!MARIEI suppose I have grown a little.
How do you feel about Elisabeth marrying at so young a age?LALEMANTIt is long held family tradition to have ones parents betroth their daughter Marie. Why your parents did the same to Gillette, giving her to her first husband and as well as to her second. I pray Elisabeth will be fine.MARIEWhat issues with Julian do you speak of Father?LALEMANTJulien has been known to enjoy his wine and his work habits are less than desirable. Well I have crossed the ocean and I have come to the mind set that I cannot live in the past, or change my families mistakes. He sold fish in the market place and he took on the resemblance of a halibut in his looks and also his smell; but that was no matter to my father. Do you think it is selfish of me, to want to find happiness in this life and a spouse who is not chosen for me, but one that I choose?LALEMANTMarie some do not understand my choice for a spouse. I believe you will have many suitors Marie.MARIEI have not come this far and sacrificed so much to gamble on a stranger's heart. I presume you have talked over your terms of employment with Monsieur Francois Peron?MARIEYes Father, I will be working at Peron's store as a merchard mercier and will also manage some of his business affairs.LALEMANTExcellent Marie, I am so proud of you.
When we were children we promised that we would never allow this to happen to us or our children.LALEMANTNow Marie, you do not want cause a fuss?


After all what is done is done and today is a day of celebration.MARIEMe Father that is the last thing I want to do.
Jacques is a locksmith by trade, and he and Gillette have a small farm that barely sustains their 7 children. He is spending most the afternoon in close proximity to the nearestA  keg of brandy and socializing with his rowdy group friends.
Besides in his state of drunkenness, he is having trouble remembering which of the Bertault daughters he is suppose to be married too. I cannot remember.A (laughter from the crowd)The amusement is not shared by Elisabeth's father who looks on and glares his disapproval. Gillette has the look of surpriseA on her face.A GILLETTEYou have made the journey across the ocean Marie and arrived on all days the day of the wedding.
She is so young and still acts yet like a child.GILLETTEWell I was 13 when I married my first husband Martin. Should it be any different for my children, Marie?A Gillette looks down at the seven-year-old sister of Elisabeth, Suzanne who she consoles in her arms.
I thought things would be different in New France but in so many ways it is the same as was back in Normandy.
Marie do you see life any other way?A MARIEI just hope that Julien takes good care of Elisabeth. Julien has a reputation for sloth and I hear he has a horrible temper when he has been drinking.
It seems there is someA doubt on his ability to be a provider.GILLETTEJacques has had several talks with Julien. Julien has been told that he is expected to provide and care for Elisabeth and we think it will all work out. It is just that everyone is just a step away from starvation with the hostilities with the Iroquois.
Have you given the fish salesman an answer, yes or no to marriage?MARIEI have told the Halibut he will have to wait till my contract with Miser Peron is complete and then I can decide with more certainty on my future. Right now I am glad there is a ocean between us.A GILLETTEAnd does anyone else fit into my dear sisters future?
I couldn't help to notice that handsome young soldier escorting you.A MARIEThere is no fit for anyone for a while, I suppose.
To tell you the truth I have days when the thought of living with the Ursulene Sisters seems like the best of all options.
I ask myself do I really need a man to take care of and complicate my life?GILLETTEYou are so independent Marie. Gillette rises from her chair and searches for her husband among the crowd but he is no where to be found. Elizabeth is in tears and quite upset by his behavior as Julien mocks and demeans his new bride for some miss cue of her speech and her untidy appearance.
Elizabeth looks over to her mother for some help or reassurance but none is forth coming.Marie now sits alone taking in all the activity of the celebration into her heart and again ponders the value of marriage arranged or otherwise.
Among the women in line for eggs, flour and assorted food items is the familiar face of the stores newest most frequent customer Pierre. Marie is hurrying as she runs late and holds two large hand sewn quilts in a bundle that the Sisters at the convent had sewn. Marie watches in amusement as Pierre fended off the big winged insect.MARIEPierre you are always so helpful and here when I need you.



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