Have you ever shared your dream with someone, only to have them stomp on it with a few unsupportive words? There’s a breed of control freaks who quietly lurk, ready to attack your precious, vulnerable ideas as soon as you share them with the world. You’ll find them in the workplace, in social circles, in the family, or in your marital bed.
Regardless of where you encounter them, naysayers all have the same toxic tendency: they get off on popping bubbles, raining on parades, throwing wet blankets on ambitions, and farting on dreams. This is usually how it unfolds: you dream up a plan that excites you to the core of your being. If the negative comments are coming from a person you care deeply about, see what you can do to talk it through.
If the criticism is coming from your family, or a dear old friend, it may be best to simply block it out. Good for you and many congratulations on the book, which I will defnitely buy as soon as I have two cents to rub together!
The funny thing is that his reaction is part of exactly why I really did take off and ride my bike around India! Anyway, my family is supportive of whatever I decide to do, the don’t think that I should go travel on my own but they still support me no matter what.
I have this exact problem and it is so hard to work through it and get on with doing what you want to do despite what people say.
When one of those naysaying nincompoops pop into my life, which has happened more times than I care to remember, I just quietly relish the fact that my ingenuity and imagination has taken me further in one of my 50 years than all of theirs. Thank you Torre, another great post, I love the non-scientific map of the brain, very cool.
Torre, I JUST came across your blog and it couldn’t have come at a better time for me.
Dreamkillers will often facilitate your view on giving up and try to convince you it’s better to give up.
If you aren't as smooth as Ryan Gosling (and let's face it, you're probably not), you can still help yourself create a mental and visual confidence by simply adjusting the way you hold your drink and carry yourself in a room.
Body Language Is the SecretWhile many people focus on trying to say the right things to come off as confident, basic body language can go a long way in showing your confidence and making you feel confident, too. The following 7 simple strategies can help you to feel better about yourself – and that can help make you more productive, motivated, and effective. Sure your appearance can affect how others perceive you, but what about the way you perceive yourself?
Each morning, choose clothes that look and feel good and that help to bring out the best you. In contrast, a good posture lets the air into your lungs and the confidence into your life. Whatever your moral perspective, avoiding fibs helps you to avoid feeling guilty and acting shifty – both barriers to a healthy self-respect. There’s a lovely feeling you get when you make a genuine connection and look someone in the eye. If you don’t like it, don’t want to do it, or don’t want to be there, find a kind way to say so.
It’s staggeringly difficult to thrust yourself forth into the world with confidence and self-respect if flowers wilt at the opening of your mouth.
Michele Connolly is into writing, books, simplicity, love, TV, productivity, and staying thin in a world of chocolate. I love what I do, teach swimming, and feel its importance but looking good in a bathing suit has not happened yet, maybe if. How do you do it Michele, state the obvious, but collectively in such a way that makes the penny drop! More than 80,000 people around the world use our programs to get rid of clutter, be more productive, take charge of business or career, and manage their life.
There may be more positive financial signs coming from a number of women, as many are experiencing improved confidence in their money.


Young couples trying to navigate their way through the working world likely need to improve their financial planning.
The talk show that I find myself enjoying the most these days doesn’t even air on television.
Larry is having some of the best conversations with a wide range of people and last night, he chatted with music producer Linda Perry. Linda spoke movingly about her new wife, Sara Gilbert, and how their being together has enhanced her life. Perry, who has written for and produced such artists as Pink and Christina Aguilera, was married to The Talk co-host in a sunset ceremony overlooking the Pacific Ocean in March. Perry recalls that they met through her yoga instructor who happened to be Gilbert’s best friend.
They began dating a year after their first meeting and went public with their relationship in November 2011. Earlier that year, Sara had split from television producer Allison Adler after 10 years together. Gilbert is best known for her long-running role of Darlene on the sitcom Roseanne which ended in 1997 but continues to enjoy tremendous popularity in reruns.
These people are known as naysayers, non-supporters, dream killers, or just plain assholes.
Fear of loss, fear of being alone, fear of change, fear of being insignificant, fear of death or injury, fear of being judged. Your wild ambitions threaten the naysayer. If you find yourself in a relationship with a toxic person who continually tears holes in your ambitions, it may be best to cut off the relationship. I need to keep this in mind for possible naysayers (already came across one, but I forgive the person), for when I quit my job in 2 months to travel.
It will be a great start to the day methinks (expect a few more spambot comments in your other posts). It is hard to deal with, but you have to believe in yourself, because no one and I mean no one can feel what you feel or think the thoughts that you think and many times those naysayers are just jealous that they can’t do what you are doing! Nobody knows you like you do, so nobody has authority to tell you what is right or wrong for your life. I’m quite adventurous, unlike most of my friends and family, so I frequently face lots of naysaying.
The good news is that there are enough people out there to support our dreams … even if we do have to find them online! I love this post and have shared it on each of my social media outlets, that’s how cool I think it is and how relevant to my own dream chasing! Very inspiring, and particularly appealing to me as I deal with friends telling me that my dream of traveling around the world and writing about it are irresponsible and that I need to just knuckle down and start down the career path.
If I actually listened to all of those naysayers out there I would not have went this far in life. I experienced exactly what you described from close to everyone I know when I announced my plan for my RTW trip. I have a roommate (and she WAS my best friend) who has continually shit all over my dreams. There is no way to make a risky career path free of uncertainty, especially when you’re starting your own business. I am just starting out on my quest to achieve my dreams, but I understand the terrible burden that is naysaying very well. It all starts with eye contact and creating a posture that shows you're open to conversation and secure enough to hold one.When you order your drink at the bar, hold it at waist level rather than up near your chest. From folding your hands to crossing your arms, all of these gestures create non-verbal cues to everyone around you. I did a google search looking for examples of how to hold a drink but if you type, "man holding drink" 90% of the examples are TERRIBLE, all with the man holding the drink in front of his chest like an insecure little boy.Great Article! Saying NO to those things that are just Things and do something that will make a difference in another’s life.
I recently started noticing how often I was hunched over the table sitting in staff meetings and the like, and could only imagine what impression that must give.


Maybe they made the mistake of listening to their own naysayers, and they’re just parroting words that have kept them down their whole life? Locate your internal switch called GIVE A SHIT and simply flick it over from DO to DON’T. If one of you jumps the pond, but the other one stays behind, you may not have that connection anymore.
I was told it would be dangerous, I wouldn’t be strong enough to do it on my own, that I’d be home in a week, that I should be spending my money on a car or a house! That’s why I am living the dream, traveled the world and now have a growing travel website and blog!
Although I am new to twitter there are people here that posted, that I follow as a source of inspiration until I can really do some long term travel. It’s so f-cking frustrating and depressing to feel like an outcast for doing something you really want to do.
There will always be worries, but worries are important—they help to make your business watertight. I feel like most of my friends and family just shrug off my dreams and any time I talk to them they just roll their eyes and start their bash. This will automatically force you to push out your chest and open your shoulders, creating a more powerful stance. You can perform all sorts of power stances before a sports game, test, job interview or any other situation you may be nervous about to increase your confidence, and maybe your performance, too.So next time you're at a bar or event, hold that beer low and puff your chest out.
Perhaps they believe that life is all about living inside a fantasyland called Normalville, where regular people populate the average town of Mediocrity, sipping on lukewarm cups of boring? This is always a test of a good friendship—the people who truly love you will stick with you no matter what. So tired of building myself up, only to be ripped apart, and ridiculed, even by loved ones.
Thanks a million for this article, it’s a small sliver of hope in an otherwise suffocating world.
Notice in the photos below that most people hold their drinks at chest-level, which doesn't give off that same air of confidence. But the naysayer is out of luck because the entire universe doesn’t actually belong to them (as much as they like to believe that it does). This is your life, your journey and your happiness, so own it and make it clear that you won’t sway from your dream. But, I wanted to pursue my dream of being a motivational speaker, and having an all positive social network. My dad is fine with it but he’s worried about how busy I would be and whether the workers I will hire might spread my secret recipe. But being on the receiving end of that doubt has really opened my eyes to how detrimental words can be. As Cuddy says, your body really can change your mind.Know of any other brain or body hacks like this? Negotiate and compromise if possible, but make sure you leave the conversation with your heart fluttering. I used to be a pessimist, but on my quest to attend the college of my dreams, I have learned not to take no for an answer and that working towards something with relentless drive and passion is ok – great, even. If you come away from the conversation feeling heavy and sad, you’ve just been naybashed once again.
So from this point on I shall do my best to avoid naysaying to not only myself but everyone else as well. This article has helped to solidify my resolve; I will NEVER give up in pursuance of dreams, no matter what anyone says to bring my down.
For more detailed information from someone who really knows what she's talking about, be sure to check out Cuddy's TED Talk on body language and power posing below.




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